hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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