just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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