We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
