so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
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