The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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