There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
