can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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