I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
