what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
