I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
