OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
