wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
