you would pick up someone in the library
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
