In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
