Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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