they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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