all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize