Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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