Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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