Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
one two three fourrrrnication!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
