forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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