We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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