His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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