people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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