Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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