Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
