fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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