Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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  (410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l
  Replies (14) Good night (673) Bad night (1385)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (52367) Bad night (2126)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets

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  (361): Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets http://tfl.nu/c82g
  Replies (16) Good night (587) Bad night (4606)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake

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  (618): Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake http://tfl.nu/xsco
  Replies (50) Good night (5958) Bad night (1069)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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  (785): Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine.. http://tfl.nu/247z
  Replies (8) Good night (4780) Bad night (1506)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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  (515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu
  Replies (12) Good night (6965) Bad night (1211)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

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  (757): I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet. http://tfl.nu/keov
  Replies (8) Good night (822) Bad night (1234)
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  (+33): View more from France

  He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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  (+33): He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands http://tfl.nu/mwrj
  Replies (3) Good night (1127) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.

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  (435): Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping. http://tfl.nu/o391
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (421)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

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  (484): if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire http://tfl.nu/0try
  Replies (14) Good night (2490) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We can Fuck in the shower to save time

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.

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  (262): We can Fuck in the shower to save time (1-262): And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative. http://tfl.nu/wr55
  Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite

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  (416): drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite http://tfl.nu/pmot
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams

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  (440): Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams http://tfl.nu/en8l
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's true

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  (509): you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to (702): It's true http://tfl.nu/0sa6
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️

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  (609): Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️ http://tfl.nu/486i
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (189)

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