Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.

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  (650): Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low. http://tfl.nu/on4s
  Replies (13) Good night (1313) Bad night (3372)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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  (626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae
  Replies (18) Good night (10231) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers

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  (404): It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers http://tfl.nu/xcf7
  Replies (3) Good night (2304) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?

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  (+61): i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/33o5
  Replies (7) Good night (2922) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1720) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.

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  (910): No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess. http://tfl.nu/luxa
  Replies (6) Good night (1830) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.

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  (610): SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/afff
  Replies (4) Good night (1797) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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  (585): Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy? (1-585): Or possibly end in a restraining order? http://tfl.nu/8n7h
  Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand

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  (703): we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand http://tfl.nu/zspz
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.

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  (904): Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever. http://tfl.nu/o5og
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of

  (212): View more from New York

  fuck you.

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  (615): well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of (212): fuck you. http://tfl.nu/d4hh
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?

  (727): View more from Florida

  ME.

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  (980): Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed? (727): ME. http://tfl.nu/931b
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

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  (+49): ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany. http://tfl.nu/88tv
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.

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  (902): I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet. http://tfl.nu/wf66
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (129)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me

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  (905): I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me http://tfl.nu/yn4j
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (117)

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