honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.