haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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