Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month http://tfl.nu/ssqy
  Replies (8) Good night (2687) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself. http://tfl.nu/omuv
  Replies (28) Good night (1286) Bad night (2959)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday. http://tfl.nu/y9g2
  Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  They should make Jack Daniels chap stick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): They should make Jack Daniels chap stick http://tfl.nu/3f21
  Replies (31) Good night (6278) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain. (720): Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic. (303): But what if I pay for the gas? http://tfl.nu/j2h0
  Replies (53) Good night (1224) Bad night (7071)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning. http://tfl.nu/bnwl
  Replies (10) Good night (7115) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass http://tfl.nu/6hj6
  Replies (29) Good night (5957) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month. http://tfl.nu/869w
  Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf
  Replies (8) Good night (1927) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it. http://tfl.nu/pwa8
  Replies (15) Good night (775) Bad night (3531)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all http://tfl.nu/skme
  Replies (6) Good night (833) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down http://tfl.nu/hwj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0
  Replies (16) Good night (3927) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0
  Replies (9) Good night (912) Bad night (699)

Randomize