Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.

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(703): While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens. http://tfl.nu/2i4o

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(352): View more from Florida

Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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(352): Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance. http://tfl.nu/csuc

Replies (178) Good night (4032) Bad night (844)
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(310): View more from California

Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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(310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4

Replies (24) Good night (1072) Bad night (8804)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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(401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v

Replies (160) Good night (13233) Bad night (1730)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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(202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t

Replies (32) Good night (9935) Bad night (1055)
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(330): View more from Ohio

So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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(330): So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night http://tfl.nu/sszo

Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (2718)
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(330): View more from Ohio

No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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(330): No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/d0l1

Replies (3) Good night (2045) Bad night (668)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

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(330): I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner http://tfl.nu/m02y

Replies (7) Good night (1949) Bad night (1232)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.

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(402): You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair. http://tfl.nu/auy6

Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (1037)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

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(410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6

Replies (1) Good night (1141) Bad night (396)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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(303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv

Replies (12) Good night (1844) Bad night (393)
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(925): View more from California

But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....

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(925): But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age..... http://tfl.nu/e96s

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(214): View more from Texas

Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag

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(214): Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag http://tfl.nu/i32x

Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (203)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.

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(902): When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know. http://tfl.nu/c52r

Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (134)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.

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(603): Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/ouph

Replies (3) Good night (151) Bad night (437)

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