i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
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Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs