Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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