Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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