ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
