just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize