Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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