fuck your aforementioned shoe
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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