I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
