With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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