And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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