I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
