if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
