you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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