are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
