i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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