no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
