Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
