Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
