How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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