I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
