that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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