We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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