So gin and wine won't be happening again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
