she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So squirting runs in the family.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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