Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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