My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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