grandma shit on top of the toilet
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
