Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
