this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
