Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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