why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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