She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
