Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
