last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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