I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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