I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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