bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
