I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
