Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just googled if crying burns calories
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
