So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
A+ Viking dick
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